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Dynamic discomfort
Seats recline emotionally, not physically. Legroom is available as a subscription concept.
Now boarding: managed disappointment
We make flying feel like updating printer firmware.
Welcome to Deltoid Air-ish Lines, the premium customer character-building experience where every step of travel is optimized for friction, fees, and the quiet realization that walking might have been faster.
Flights
Upcharges
Delays
Apologies
Your last nerve
Terminal changed 3 timesGate B-Eventually
Possibly a bus ride1 unpaid beta tester
Middle seat pre-selectedExperience the future of less.
Our mock airline proudly celebrates the modern art of enshittification: take something people need, make it harder, then sell tiny pieces of the old experience back to them.
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Fee innovation
Every click unlocks a new revenue event. Breathing remains complimentary during promotional windows.
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Operational mystery
Gate changes are delivered telepathically, usually after you walk to the opposite end of the airport.
Transparent pricing, opaque total.
A simple fare, lovingly surrounded by fees that reproduce when observed.
Base Fare$89
Seat with measurable width$44
Carry-on proximity license$39
Gate-change notification$12
Human support encounter$27
Convenience fee fee$18
Total-ish$404
“We heard customers wanted a smoother journey, so we removed the smooth parts and converted them into purchasable upgrades.”
— Chief Friction OfficerYour day, simplified into chaos.
T-24h
Check-in opens. The app asks you to log in, then forgets why.
T-3h
Boarding pass acquired. It displays confidently until airport Wi-Fi meets reality.
T-20m
Gate changed. Congratulations, your fitness ring has detected cardio.
T+2h
Delay posted. Weather blamed in a city with no clouds.